Thursday, August 13, 2009


Whenever I look at a digital clock at 10:02, I think "Sara's birthdate." Anyone else do that?

I can't believe it's almost 3 years since I lost my Sara. I don't know what to do to honor her this year. Of course DH & I will spend some quiet time on her day and then we'll have dinner with my family, release balloons, have cupcakes. But I don't know if I want to do anything "public". Last year I sent packets of seeds to family & friends, I got a good response to those. I know I'll be hurt if people don't respond like I expect, I don't want to be let down.

Later this month I have my high school class reunion - 17 years. Yeah, I know traditionally people have reunions every 5 or 10 years. We missed the 10 year, had an 11 year, so I guess 17 is appropriate. At my 11th, DH & I had just started dating, so he didn't attend with me. I don't know who knows about Sara. I know for certain maybe half of my class knows - either I am still friends with them or they still have contacts in our little hometown. I'm nervous about going, I'm not the girl that they went to high school with. But I want to see some of my old classmates, so I'll go along with DH & Ethan.


Monica H said...

Chances are they've changed too. Sure some will be the same as they were in high school but most people will have grown up just a little. I can't say that 's there's anyone in the bunch who has had a loss quite like yours but you never know. Go, have fun and remember that the person they went to school with is under there somewhere.

As for honoring Sara, whatever you do will be lovely. It always is. I'm struggling with this too, except Sam's birthday is tomorrow and I don't have much time! I will make him a cake and the in-laws, Mr. H and I are going to dinner. THe rest of the day is unknown, though we will go visit them.

Just celebrate her life and remember her. That's all you need to do.

And no I don't think of the boys at 8:15 and 2:21 but since you mentioned it, I probably will now :-) I do think of Sam at 4am though, if I happen to awake at that hour. That's the time it was when I woke up going into labor. It's an hour that haunts me.

Ya Chun said...

wow. three years.

I am skipping our hs reunion this year (15). It's far and I just don't want to do it.