Baby shower

Today I attended the first baby shower for a little girl since losing Sara. I was lookking forward to seeing friends, the guest of honor, plus a few others. At first we talked about the wildfires around our region in Texas, people we knew who evacuated or even lost their homes. I ate the yummy, beautifully decorated cake. As my friend opened presents, I was able to oh and ah over the little outfits, the soft pink blankets, etc... When I got in my vehicle, I cried. I cried for my Sara. I can't believe it's almost been 5 years that she's been gone. A couple of friends were talking about throwing themselves( they're not pregnant, their children are in elementary - high school) a baby shower, just to open the presents. I mentioned that I wanted to get married again just for the gifts. I thought, that might be a good idea. So many families are having a tough time now, because of the economy or now the wildfires, what if I threw a "baby shower" asking for essentials, we can open them, eat cake, drink wine and then donate the items to families in need. I would organize it in Sara's memory....but it would break my heart at the same time. But that's my life, the very thing that breaks my heart, inspires me to lift up someone else. I'll need to decide something soon. October 2nd is approaching fast, I'm already planning Ethan's 4th (!) birthday party, a day school Fall fund raiser and a family reunion.