More Sadness

In just over a month, i have learned of 3 families who lost babies. A high school acquaintance recently moved to Africa for a missionary trip.  Their 2 y.o. had an accident and was taken to the hospital.  The little boy seemed to be improving, but he died.  

A friend emailed that she was sorry if she wasn't herself; her best friend's 5 month old baby died.  She didn't have the autopsy results, but they believe he choked on his milk.  I replied back that my heart ached for the family and if there was anything she needed, to let me know.  I don't think my friend knows about Sara.  We just became friends within the past year through our children's day school.  I didn't want my email to become about me. "I lost a baby and I know what they are going through."  I don't like to deny Sara, I just didn't think that was the right time to bring up my story.

Lastly but closest to my heart, my cousin lost her son at 23 weeks.  She was in the hospital on a Thursday  and the baby was still ok.  I kept crocheting his blanket that evening, trying to be positive.  Friday the baby was delivered and he survived for 24 hours.  I was so sad for her.  I know she wants a baby so badly.  Dh & I went to the graveside service.  I brought back s many memories.  My cousin came to Sara's memorial service.  Who would have guessed then that i would be attending her baby's service?  After the service, I returned to work.  I was so sad, I just wanted cry.  Was this how our family felt when Sara died? Just completely helpless.

Knowing these stories though takes me back to the early days after losing Sara.  Wondering how my life would turn out.  Afraid to go out in public because there were just too many reminders.