Yesterday Ethan & I took my car in for an oil change. We waited in the little lobby. An older(late 40's-early 50's) man came in. We made small talk - weather, housing prices. I was holding Ethan on my lap. The man asked if Ethan was my only child. I figured I'd never see him again, so I said yes. He said that I was very lucky. Then I had to speak up, I told him we lost our first daughter. He paused for a moment and then said, " So did we." She died a week before her due date. His wife had some health issues, so they never tried again. I told him that I was very sorry to hear that. He said that it was the hardest thing in the world, he & his wife still talk about their daughter. Then other people came into the lobby, I agreed that it was the hardest thing, paid my bill & left.
I get it Sara, I'll always talk about you!
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5 comments:
It's so hard to know when to talk about them to complete strangers. We talk about them all the time to each other, but when it comes to strangers, it's like they never exsisted. I always feel guilty when I don't speak up for the boys. I feel like I'm cheating them out of the brief life that they had and that's not fair to them. I have always said that I just want my boys to be acknowledged. You don't have to visit them at the cemetery or talk about them, I just want people to know they were real and significant to me. And when I deny them (telling people I don't have children) I am contradicting myself. So I get why you were hesitant, but I'm proud of you for telling him about Sara.
I was also looking at it from the man's point of view. Maybe hearing my story helped him in some way, letting him talk about HIS daughter.
True. I bet he doesn't bring her up very often either and I'm sure he felt just as proud of a poppa to speak about her after all these years. I wonder how long ago that was and what her name is...
Good for you, for sharing. What a nice moment. I bet that was really touching for the man, too, to be able to talk about his loss.
I always struggle with that, how many children do you have? question.
I'm glad you spoke up. I have vowed to always acknowledge Logan in some way. I'm sure that hearing your/Sara's story helped him in some way. How amazing that after all these years he & his wife are still deeply affected by their loss. I know that we will always remember ours.
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