A few days ago, I started reading Va.lerie Bertin.elli's autobiography. Her parents lost a baby when he was 17 months old. They had a 4 y.o. son, the 17 month old & the mom was pregnant with Valer.ie. They were visiting a family friend, the toddler got into some poison & died. Heartbreaking. Valer.ie wrote that she didn't even know that there had been another brother until she was a teen! The family didn't talk about him, all of his pictures were put away.
When Valer.ie's grandmother died, her own son was 17 months old. They were at the cemetery, she saw her brother's tombstone, realized he was the same age as her baby she was holding & it hit home - what her parents & family lost.
It made me sad, the parents having to hide their grief, to not even talk about their son. We proudly display Sara's pictures & other mementos around our house. We talk about her. I can't imagine having to hide my emotions. I'm not ashamed to cry in front of people - this is my child we're talking about. I see other people cry for less. I lurk on another message board & I often see people ask for prayers for their pets who are sick or saying how heartbroken they are after the pet dies. I'm a huge animal lover, but really, after losing a baby, I have to roll my eyes a bit. It's a dog.
My grandparents lost a son, my father's younger brother, in a car accident. We never talk about him. I think about him & a cousin who was stillborn 2 years before I was born. (I need to go put flowers on their graves.) I understand what my grandmother & aunt went through, but in this day & age, I can freely talk about my emotions, something neither of them got to do.