Thursday, October 15, 2009


This is the cake I made for my & Sara's birthday.

Looking back, I think Oct. 3 was harder than the 2nd. There's always so much anticipation before Sara's Day and then it's just over. On top of top, then we shift gears to celebrate Ethan's birthday a week later.

I've been burning a votive candle today, remembering all of the lost babies. The candle burned to the bottom.

Today I went to the thrift store to get ideas for Ethan's Halloween costume. Looking through a rack, I came across a Halloween onesie, I had bought the same one for Sara. I bought it the weekend before she died. I knew I wouldn't do a costume for a 4 week old, but a onesie was OK. When she died, I had a friend return it and some other things to the store. So seeing this onesie again took my breath away. I had so looked forward to seeing Sara in this little outfit, to celebrate a holiday with her.


Ya Chun said...

the butterflies look wonderful (and delicious)

I can't believe the same onesie was there - I think I would have collapsed! I know what you mean about having looked forward to something in particular, for those early days with the expected baby, that just didn't materialize.

Kristi said...

The onesie was from W@l-M@rt, so there are probably bazillions out there, but to see it 3 years later...

Monica H said...

The cake turned out so wonderful. I love the butterflies on top. Perfect for you both.

I'm sure seeing the onsie was a shock. I see things that remond me of the boys and sometimes they make me sad. But I try to think of it in a different way and I tell myself that that's a piece of them and they are all around. The onsie was a piece of her.