Last year, Halloween was awful. I had been looking forward to taking Sara to a pumpkin patch for pictures, the start of the holidays, etc...Instead I cried most of the day. DH & I went out for dinner & hid in the house, avoiding the fairies & superheroes that ran around our neighborhood.
This year, we took Ethan to a pumpkin patch a few weeks ago. I dressed him in his Halloween onesie. He slept through the trick-or-treaters. There were some cute little at our door. I couldn't help but wonder what I would have dressed Sara up as when I saw the little princesses & ladybugs. Ethan was sleeping in the living room - he couldn't be seen from the door. But one little girl must have seen all the baby stuff behind me. She said, " Oh, you have a baby. Can I see him?" I explained that he was sleeping, gave her some candy & she was happy.
Another tiny little girl, maybe 18 months, said to me, "You pretty." Yeah, I felt gorgeous in my gray t-shirt & khaki shorts with little breastmilk stains on them. She deserved more candy!!
We were out of candy soon after 8pm. It probably would have lasted longer if I hadn't been sampling all the Peeps. But we were tired & wanted to get some sleep.
I meant to post this with my story about Lisa, our nurse from last year. We had shared Sara's story with our day nurse this year. When it came time for me to get the epidural, she said, "Remember how this is done?" I told her flat out, "No." I remember being taken to a delivery room & being hooked up to monitors & IVs , but as far as the method, no I don't remember. My world was crashing down, I don't remember the position I sat in to get an epidural. She asked that several times as we waited for labor to progress & each time I said No. She won't be getting a thank you note from us for her care.
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Each Day Wiser
Still Hopeful
A Pregnancy After A Stillbirth
About Me
- Kristi
- We lost our beautiful daughter Sara due to an umbilical cord accident at full-term. We are pregnant again, due in mid-October 2007.
3 comments:
Ugghh.... crappy nurses suck! I love Ethan's pumpkin patch pics! I slept through this Halloween and Matthew handed out candy. Well I think he did. I hope he did. I too thought what would Jimmy's costume be? This Halloween though was much easier than the last one. Like Sara, Halloween was the first major holiday after Jimmy died. It was hard. I bet Sara would have been a beautiful princess. She is, you know... a beautiful princess.
Hey, I got your cute announcement on Friday! Ethan is so handsome. I can't get over how much hair he has and how big he is. How did you manage the last month with such a big baby? Your back had to be killing you! Yes, we should hook up in a few weeks. I'm trying to get Andy to sleep at least three hours straight so I can sleep. He will sleep for four hours on his pillow, but I cannot sleep then because of the SIDS risk. When we put him in his bassinet, bouncy seat, or crib, the longest he will sleep is two hours.
Plus we induced 2 weeks early - he would have been huge if we waited. DH discovered that if we take Ethan for a stroll around the block, it puts him right to sleep, in a deep sleeep! Usually when I want to take a nap, Ethan decides he'll only take little 15 minute naps, nurse for a few, then nap again.
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