Monday, April 21, 2008

Ethan's Baptism

On Sunday we had Ethan baptized. It was a very special day because we were able to coordinate with our friends who lost their daughter 4 days after we lost Sara. Their little girl D. is 2.5 months old and was also baptized yesterday. Ethan was a little restless, but was a doll during the baptisms. The preacher began the sermon, saying how this was a special day, to have Ethan & D. baptized together a year & a half after their big sisters passed away, how it was healing for the church to share this day. Unfortunately, I didn't hear much more than that, Ethan got fussy - he was due for a nap, so I had to sneak out to the nursery.

Several people stopped me later, saying how special it was for us to have our babies baptized together. I'm not a very religious person & I won't go into my beliefs here, but I felt like this needed to be done - to introduce our babies to our church, for these people to see our babies, the faith & strength that helped us through the difficult time, that continues to help us.

After church we had separate parties. DH & I just invited our families over for lunch at my aunt's house. It was a beautiful spring day. I had kept the decorations simple - just blue, green & yellow stuff - plates, napkins, cups, tablecloth & cupcakes. But I had a pink candle & pink roses for our Sara. Saturday when we were setting up for the party, I went in to my aunt's kitchen to cut the roses to fit the vase. The radio was on, Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" was playing. I broke down. I understand his lyrics too well.

I miss you Sweet Sara.


Monica said...

I find myself having a lot of these moments too. I think it is the Spring and how we'd have a little toddler running around outside.

That song tears me up too. I sometimes wonder what Jimmy is doing up there and if he misses me and if he watches me. Sometimes my arms still ache for him.

I've been reading a few blogs lately and a lot of people who've had subsequent pregnancies are having an uptick in sadness lately.

Monica H said...

I wish I could have been there. I bet it was beautiful.

BTW, I just tagged you!

Kristi said...

I think the baptism was also hard because I had already been thinking about Sara's baptism. I had bought a dress for her a few weeks before she was due. Now it's framed in a shadow box, hanging in Ethan's room.