UGH

Yesterday I started my period. It's been nice not having one. My last period was in January 2007!!
Today I'm feeling weepy, nothing's really set me off, just hormones. Damn hormones. And I keep snacking. Damn hormones!

Ethan has had a runny nose for a few days, he's not sleeping well, so neither am I. He's taken 2 15 minutes so far today. When I hold him, he snuggles into my neck. I know he's wiping snot on my hair. Oh well that's what shampoo is for.

How old are you now?

Yesterday we went to a family reunion. I was telling a story about another cousin Amy being mistaken for my mother; a stranger thought Amy & I were mother & daughter. I commented "She's like just 3 years older than me." My sister corrected me, Amy is more than 3 years older than me. OK Technically she is 4.5 years older, it's not I was thinking 3 years & she's really 15 years older. Amy's brother said, "Yeah Amy's going to be 40 this year." I said,"Oh is she that old?" Another relative, who is 40+(?) sarcastically said,"Thanks a lot." Then they were teasing me for sticking my foot in my mouth. But the thing is I have to truly remind myself how old I am. I 'think' I'm 32, like I'm stuck at 32. I'm 34. I didn't really 'celebrate' my 33rd or 34th bithdays. I know I've received cards and gifts for those birthdays, but Sara's death is ALWAYS the first thing I think of now for October 2. I remember DH's grandparents mailed a package to me for my 33rd birthday. My mother-in-law had to intercept it, take out the baby realted gifts and gave me the safe one.

So how old do YOU 'think' you are?

The Church of Will.ie Nel.son

Like any good Texan, I love Will.ie Nel.son. DH & I danced to "Blue Skies" at our wedding. I have a picture of Will.ie in the guest bathroom.

Recently I read his book, "The Tao of Will.ie." It was spiritual and some just plain old common sense for having a happy life. I felt peaceful reading it. One of the chapters reminded me of my friend Monica's recent blog about standing still. Will.ie wrote a song, "St!ll !s St!ll Mov!ing to me."

http://stillisstillmoving.com/?cat=35
I hope the link works, scroll down a bit for the lyrics and the short chapter.

Ethan had his wellness check on Thursday. He weighed 23lb, 14 oz and was 30 inches long. I think the length is off. We measured him at home with a yardstick, it looked more like 28 inches.

Facts of Life

"You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life."

In the last few weeks, while poking around in gift/antique shops, I've come across 2 books about talking to children about grief & death. I didn't buy either of them. I know at some point we'll have that talk with Ethan. Already I talk about Sara to him, I point out her picture and just refer to her, so he's used to hearing her name. Most parents dread the "Where do babies come from?" question. We're facing the "Why do babies die? question. I don't have an answer to that, how am I supposed to explain to a child?