Monday, October 8, 2007

Can't sleep

I can't sleep. I'm uncomfortable & was hungry. Usually I would watch TV in the living room until I got sleepy but I must have hit the wrong combination of buttons, the TV was 'on', but not the cable. Anyway, I have lots on my mind.

Earlier (late Sunday) I found out that a couple from our support group lost their 2nd baby at 15-16 weeks. DH & I saw them at a of event in early September & they told us that they were 3 months pregnant. We were so happy for them. They lost their first son in September 2006 & I've been so caught up in my own life, I forgot to contact them on their son's day. I had been thinking that I needed to email them, to see how the pregnancy was going. I'm just so heart-broken for them. I know what it's like to lose 1 baby, but 2 - there are probably other emotions that I haven't had to face. I'm thinking of you L. & R & your Babies.

I wish that there was something I could do for the couples who have had multiple losses. I don't know what. It's not a problem that you just throw money at, money doesn't guarantee a baby. I guess I can only remember these babies and be there for the parents.

Also when I can't sleep, I imagine scenarios that could be perfectly harmless turn out to be petty & ugly. Like tonight, I made up this scene that when my sister,niece & aunt come to visit, my niece is a complete brat - griping about how there's nothing to do at our house, wanting to eat ALL of our food, like we're a freaking buffet. I don't know the best description for my aunt. I love her & she wants to be helpful, but I could imagine if she offered to make a sandwich & I said, "Yes please", she would then ask questions like "How much mustard do you want? How many slices of lunchmeat? Should I use a paper plate?" The situations always turn out better than I imagine.

OK I'm getting sleepy. Hopefully I can find a comfy position.

1 comment:

Kim said...

I do the same "playing out the scenario" thing in my head. I am so glad I am not the only one.