I was looking through my email address book - I have emails of 17 women who have lost babies - 17!! And I have met all of these women in real life. The majority are from our 2 support groups, 2 I had met previously - 1 is the sister of a former co-worker, another I had met through networking.
Then there's B. (If you're reading, Hi B!) I've known B since she was a baby. I'm 10 years older than her, but now it's like we're the same age. We grew up in a small town, attending the same church - she still attends, I try to go when visiting my parents. (Just going to church has been hard this last year - surrounded by babies, especially at Christmas & Easter.) Our families have attended this church for decades. B lost her daughter 4 days after we lost Sara. B's husband & my mother worked together until a few weeks ago - he changed jobs.
I saw B about 6 weeks before we lost our daughters - at my nephew's baptism - she & her husband are friends of my younger sister & her husband. We were both happily pregnant & chatted for a few minutes about our babies. Now we call & email ech other often. B is pregnant again - 17 weeks along.
Before losing Sara, I don't recall knowing anyone who lost a baby during their pregnancy other than my aunt who lost a son 35+ years ago. Now I know 17 - plus others that I met at group, but didn't exchange emails with. I'm glad I have met all of these women, they have helped me & DH during this difficult journey, hopefully we provided some support to them as well. This is a horrible club to belong to, but the members are some of the most amazing people I know!
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3 comments:
I think you're pretty amazing too! I'm glad we met and became friends, I just wish it happened in a different way. It seems now if I am not communicating or going out with family, it's with a friend I met who has lost a child as well. My life seems consumed by it. I often wonder where I would be without y'all.
DH & I joke that our social life revolves around our support group friends - not entirely true, but some friends/family don't know how to relate to us. Should they bring up Sara? Talk about Peanut? We'll let people know if we want to talk about our babies or if it's just not a good time. Others who have lost a baby just get it.
Yeah, ditto what ya'll both said. They say soldiers in the trenches or front lines develop lasting friendships very quickly because of the mutual understanding and trust they have for one another. I know without my support group friends I'd be a mess. Just knowing that I'm not alone and that ya'll have felt the same things I have makes me feel normal. Well as normal as I could feel.
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