My older sister T. just called, she mentioned coming to visit after Peanut's born - that's fine. She said that she knew we'd have plenty of help the first few days - with the grandparents & other friends in town. She specifically mentioned my friend Michelle. A few months after losing Sara, I found out that T. was emailing Michelle to check in on me. That hurt. My own sister can't call or email me to ask how I am. We're not very close, but we have a good relationship. But the other side of that is that Michelle isn't the most reliable resource. We've been friends for a long time - since jr. high. But she has her own life - her family, job, etc...She spent a few hours with DH & me at our house a few days after we lost Sara. But we've also tried to get together numerous times & she usually has to bail at the last minute. I understand she's busy - I don't fault her for that - but if my sister wants to know how I'm doing, it might help if the person she's asking has talked to me or seen me. I can recall 3 times that Michelle & I have gotten together in the past 11 months - other than the night she came over. None of them were just us, one on one time, usually there was another activity going on.
Also I didn't tell T. that DH & I plan to visit my parents this weekend to honor Sara. (My younger sister J.knows & will be there, she lives down the street from my parents.) T. asked if we were still planning to visit our parents at the end of September, I said no, that we weren't comfortable traveling so close to the due date. I don't think she would understand if I told her that I didn't want her daughter around me this weekend, although J's sons will be.
To the Monicas - thank you for your comments. I have to do what feels right for me & DH at this time - even if other people get their feelings hurt. That hurt doesn't compare with the hurt of losing Sara.