Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Petty vents with some good news

Earlier today I sent an email to 2 colleagues, referring a client to them, I'm not taking on any new clients at this time. 1 colleague I've met for lunch a few times over the past few months, the other I haven't talked to since March/early April. She was pregnant, had a baby in June, but I had heard that she returned to work. She replied back thanking me for the referral, hoped everything was going well in my pregnancy & that her baby was now 3 months old. Well whoop-de-do. I don't wish harm to her or her baby, but really I don't want to hear about her perfect life.

We had an OB appt today - everything's looking good. I'm 1.5 cm dilated at 34 weeks, 5 days!!

DH & I had planted a tree in Sara's memory last year at my parents' house. We had hoped that we could visit her tree near her birthday, looks like it'll have to be this weekend. I feel so petty & selfish saying this - I don't want my niece to be there. My niece lives about 2 hours from my parents, but spends weekends w/them when possible. My sister brought my niece to our house a few days after we lost Sara. My niece was 8 at the time. The only thing I remember her saying during that visit was "Can we play Scattergories?" She knew that Sara died, but she didn't understand the impact. I was annoyed that my sister brought her along, it was a school day - couldn't her jerk of a father drop her off/pick her up one day during a family emergency?? I don't want this time to become about my niece - wanting attention, being a brat about meals, this is Sara's time. I had to tell my mother that I didn't want my niece there, thankfully she understood & luckily my niece had visited last weekend.

2 comments:

Monica said...

I don't think that is petty at all! It really is about Sara and if you feel your niece will get in the way of that, she shouldn't come. She can come by anytime, but this is close to Sara's birthday and since you may not be able to travel later, she should just come at a later time. I hope the weekend is good for you and that you feel close to her. I'll see you on Thursday.

Monica H said...

I agree with Monica. I don't think what you are feeling is petty. You have the right to mourn and honor Sara however makes you comfortable, and unfortunately that means your niece cannot be there. I feel the exact same way about my step father. He's just one big LOUD kid. I hope you have a nice weekend.