Monday, September 24, 2007

Sara's Tree

Over the weekend DH & I went to my parents' house to visit Sara's Tree. Friday night I made cupcakes - strawberry (pink of course) w/ vanilla icing. I started crying while making them, this wasn't how I imagined preparing for my daughter's birthday.
Saturday we stopped by the store for flowers & balloons. DH dropped me off while he filled up the gas tank. I went to the floral area & asked for 8 pink balloons (8 people would be at her tree.) The lady asked if they were for a shower. Silly me, I was wearing pink, obviously pregnant & asking for pink balloons. I just said No. She said that they have pink balloons with "it's a girl" printed on them. I just shook my head. She dropped it then. I picked out 3 bunches of pink roses in various shades. DH walked in just as I was paying for everything, perfect timing.

When we got to my parents' house, DH went to prune Sara's tree. He found a tiny tree frog hiding in the leaves. He tied a pink bow around the trunk & placed the roses in bucket at the base. At sunset, we went back out to her tree - DH & me, my parents, my younger sister, her husband & their 2 sons. When my 4 y.o. nephew saw the balloons, he asked what they were for. I told him that we were remembering our Angel. I tried to be careful to not upset him. My sister said that occasionally he will talk about "the baby that died." But being so close to Peanut's due date, I didn't want to scare him.

We wrote messages on the balloons & talked about her/to her - saying how we loved her, thought about her, missed her. I was touched that my brother-in-law was the first to speak up. We released the balloons & they all floated up together. We watched until they were just little specks in the sky. After dinner, we ate the cupcakes.

Currently Sara's Tree is fenced in to protect it from the cows (yes, I'm a country girl), but my father said that he plans to change the fenceline so the tree will be accessible. We also plan to buy a small marker with Sara's name & birthdate on it & a bench to place under the tree. I think my parents are pleased to have Sara's Tree there, she doesn't have a gravesite, but this gives our family a place to go to remember & honor her. We hope that this will become a family tradition, a time for our family to remember our baby girl.

As hard as it was, I felt very peaceful. I love you Miss Sara!


Monica said...

That sounds so lovely! I'm glad you got to enjoy this time being close with Sara. For her next birthday, you should smear some icing on the balloon for her. I thought of that after Monica H.'s balloon release. This has to be such a conflicting time for you. Excited about Peanut but thinking all the time about Sara. She understands and I bet she is waiting to meet her little brother too!

Monica H said...

That was very sweet and special. I know your little girl is sending you many blessings. She's lucky to have parents like you two. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Lori said...

I'm glad that you has such a special time. You are truly blessed to have such a loving family and a place to honor Sara. I think it's sweet that your nephew talks about her, even though he may not understand.

Michelle said...

How touching and lovely.

The balloons are a beautiful idea, maybe we'll do something similar for our little Lydia next spring, on her birthday.

We planted a tree for our Lydia. We got a large rock from my in-laws farm, and engraved her name & birthdate in it. Most places that engrave headstones will engrave granite, as well. It's nice for us, it doesn't look like a grave, and it's from the family farm.